You may have heard me mention that the kids are off from school this week for spring break. Playing on that theme, and since I seem to be breaking rules this week, I wanted to share a rare family photo moment. Rare because I don't normally share family photos here and rare because it's a small challenge to get our whole family into one photo. As I look back through this blog, my role as mama and wife gets buried a bit. However, that's me in that photo as mama and wife, and that role is 100% of who I am outside of this blog. It's a full time job (as many of you know) and utilizes all of my resources. There are so many ideas I have for this space and my creative self, but my role outside of this blog pulls me in the other direction. I find myself in quite the conundrum as I try to honor this creative outlet and nurture my creative interests while embracing the gift I've been given to stay home with my kids. Just the other day, I was telling a friend that I'm desperately trying to work my way back to a MWF post schedule, but two per week seems to be the magic number right now. At the same time, I think about all the time I spend on this space and, if I'm being real honest, I sometimes think whether the time I devote to this blog might be better spent working on a worthy cause or for an inspiring business. This space is a labor of love, for certain. And I am still in love with it.
Here's the other thing, I feel as though the story I want to share here has gotten watered down. I know why. Fear. Fear that it has already been said, fear that no one is interested, fear that I might offend someone, fear that I will be seen as a narcissist…Fear. It's a tricky and risky thing to put all of yourself out there. Even sharing a family photo here has me fearful. Let's just say self-promotion isn't my strong suit. I would much rather highlight and promote someone else. As my husband advises: People want to see and know more about you, not the filtered version - The real you. Hmm...
I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with all of this except to say that I have to believe my feelings aren't novel or unique, and I thought they would be worth sharing. Like kids in school, perhaps sometimes we need a spring break in order to get perspective. I'm curious, have any of you grappled with any of these feelings? How do you ensure you're living a life worth sharing while maintaining a blog? Do you struggle with how much to share about yourself? Have any of you ever taken a break from your blog or toyed with the thought?
Anyway, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, just doing a little free associating here. I suppose spring break has got me thinking that I want to live more. As always, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you guys, a lot.
Some required reading that has been helping me sort through these feelings:
- The importance of being authentically you.
- This post about telling your story and using your true voice*.
- Can't wait to dive into Melanie Biehle's new ebook, Blogging with Purpose.