{at this moment: what matters most}


Remember the post I did a couple of weeks ago where I mentioned that the holidays were an assortment of highs and lows? Well, I thought it might be time to finally elaborate a little bit. First, December 14th happened. The fact that I can mention this date and we all - each of us - understand its gravity makes the day immensely tragic. Let's just say that the event immediately put things into perspective.




Then, there were a few hiccups at home, one of which included a very close family member receiving a fatal diagnosis. They gave him two to three weeks, which then dwindled down to three to five days. Vigil was held and we were able to say our last good-byes. Neither my husband nor I have any surviving grandparents left on either side of our family, so this gentle man served as our jichan (grandfather in Japanese). We lost him on Christmas Eve. This is not my story to tell and out of respect I won't say too much else. I will say that he was a wonderful man and I feel fortunate to have known him. (This Saturday we will celebrate his life.)

In the midst of dealing with all this heavy news, I managed to track down a ticket to Alt Summit last month and came this close >   <  to purchasing it. If you've been following me for any length of time, you'll know that Alt Summit has been on my wish list for some time. I felt wholeheartedly that attending would be just the inspiration and motivation I needed to kick this blog up a notch and start the new year off on the right foot. In addition, I was looking forward to {virtually} bringing you all with me on the journey and meeting others of you in real life. However, with all that was going on at home, I just couldn't pull the trigger. The email I had to send to the woman from whom I purchasing the ticket, informing her that I could no longer purchase it, was a painful one to send. It really tore me up inside.

How do you deal with personal disappointment when there are things happening around you that are bigger and more important than you are?
 
I promise not to end this post on a heavy note; That's not my intention. I just wanted to elaborate on the highs and lows. (Perhaps help to explain my absence here.) And what were the highs? What was my greatest takeaway? Friends and family. Friends and family, and hope. I'm guessing that each of us here spend an insane amount of time online and on social media trying to feel connected and chasing intangibles. However, in the very end, when it's all send and done, all that matters are the people that you can call friends, family who loves you, and an immense amount of hope for the future.
 
So, my friends, it's a new year. Goals have been made to give to give me hope (and direction). In that same breath, I am sending each of you hope. Hope that you'll seize this year and make it yours. Hope that you feel and have enough love to carry you through the lows, because there will be lows. Hope that you're swallowed whole and smothered by friends and family. Because truly that's what matters most.

Happy weekend, my friends!


quote source: Ms. Winfrey herself 


31 Send Me Your Thoughts:

  1. Life should take precedence. You live long enough and you experience these events and situations that trump everything else. As they should. alt and blogging will still be there.

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  2. Oh, Theresa. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I forget sometimes that the life we put online isn't always an accurate representation of what's happening behind the scenes. I'm sending you peace and light to carry you through. And know that I'm always here to talk if you need it. "All that matters are the people that you can call friends, family who loves you, and an immense amount of hope for the future." This has never been more true. I know there are highs amongst what we're all struggling with, but sometimes it takes more than a little strength to seek them out. I'm thinking of you, sweet girl. xoxo

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  3. You know my feelings on all of this well by now, but I wanted to leave you a note here, too, to let you know that I treasure you and your honesty. xo

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  4. Hi there, sorry to hear about what you are going through, I wish I had the perfect words for you but know that I am thinking of you! 

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  5. So, so true, Sandra. Thank you for your words of reason and wisdom. Sometimes it takes hearing such advice from another person for them to really sink in. 

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  6. Thank you, Erin! I'm so grateful for you. In light of what you're going through right now, I thought you might find truth and solace in that sentence. December was definitely a crazy month, one that I've now officially termed bittersweet. Even though 2013 seems to be starting off on a shaky foot (or rather an unexpected one), concentrating on the 'highs' seems to be the best line of defense. xo, E!

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  7. Joy, I really appreciate the support and friendship you have offered me offline. It's meant so much to me. This post has been written for a while now, but boy have I struggled with publishing it; It's always a little scary to be raw. Thank goodness I have the best community. Take a look around, you all are amongst an amazing group.

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  8. Thank you, Jennifer. Your thoughts are more than enough and I appreciate them so much. Hope you are well.

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  9. beautiful post. thanks for sharing. 

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  10. Oh poor you T, I'm really sad to hear that :( I haven't had any grandparents since I was in my early 20s. There was a story a few years ago I think in Australia where an old guy with no family offered his services as a grandpa and was advertising for a family. Made me so sad!

    Today I am supposed to be in Paris to go to Maison d'Oject with Sam and Kelly (from Design Lint). I was all paid up and super excited and had to pull out at the last minute for a variety of reasons. Lost all my money and missed the chance to spend a whole weekend with some really lovely friends. Once I made the decision  not to go I felt less stressed about the whole thing but I am so disappointed. I've been wanting to go for a couple of years now and this was my chance. So I know exactly how you feel about Alt sweetie, but sometimes, as you say, you have to focus on what is most important xxxx

    Thinking of you xx

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  11. Theresa I am so sorry to hear about your loss! There is so much sadness around these days and I have a hard time finding the right words. I am more of a listener in situations like this but I am thinking of you and your family! Maybe you can aim for Alt Summit NYC so you'll have something to look forward to...

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  12. Christine DinsmoreJanuary 18, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    oh i am so sorry, that is so very, very difficult. i lost my grandfather 13 years ago this month and i still miss him dearly - there's just no relationship that compares. but like you, i just feel so lucky to have known him. keeping you in my thoughts and heart. 

    alt summit 2014! xoxo

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  13. Raluca | WhatWouldGwynethDoJanuary 19, 2013 at 7:55 AM

    Wonderful post, T. So sorry for your lows, here's wishing you many highs in 13. xx

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  14. my goodness, you did have an up and down holiday.  i'm so sorry for the loss of your loved one!  we're never ready.  (say that back to me when i need it, will you?)

    also, there will be more alt summits.  and they'll probably grow and change and have more convenient ones.  you did the right thing, difficult as it was.  

    e-hugs and best wishes for a peaceful and productive '13.  

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  15. Awww, I'm so sorry for your loss, honey! Your Jichan may no longer be physically with you but he is with you in spirit and lives on in the love and memories that you shared.

    Trust me, Alt will be all the sweeter when you finally make it there. Who knows? A few Brits might even tag along. ;)

    I wouldn't wish the lows on anyone but as you say they are part of life and they do have a habit of revealing what's truly important.

    Chin up and look out for those highs! xoxo

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  16. Been thinking about you, dear. XOXO

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  17. My thoughts go out to you and your family in their time of mourning.  And I know what it's like to have to pass on your dreams and goals (at least for a little while) because of other responsibilities and priorities that have to come first.  But I'm convinced that if you truly want it, the timing will work out and your waiting will be over.  And it'll be all the more worth it in the end.

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  18. I'm so sorry to hear about your loved one.  ( I know that losing someone is never easy no matter the time of year, but whenever I hear of a loss around the holidays, I somehow feel more affected.) I hope that you and your family can take comfort in happy memories with him.
    Thanks for sharing all of this with us and for sending your lovely wishes of hope. I am sending you a big hug, and know that the new year will soon begin to fall in place for you with light and positivity.

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  19. So sorry for your loss, and for the personal disappointment of missing Alt. Whenever I'm going though bumpy periods, I try to remind myself that "this too shall pass," however cliche that may be.  Difficult times are not fun, but they are inevitable  and they do end - usually while shining light on the gifts (friends, family) that we enjoy in our lives. Sending loving thoughts and well wishes! 

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  20. Annie, so sorry to hear you had to cancel your plans to Paris. I'm glad you shared that news with me as it makes me feel better. It's nice to know that someone can relate to the disappointment I'm feeling. I've properly convinced myself that there are other plans for me in 2013, and I feel the same for you. Thank you, Bird! x

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  21. Thank you for your thoughts and words, Nina. I feel like many people have had a rocky start to 2013. All we can do is keep moving and set our sights on {fun} future plans (Alt NYC!).

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  22. Thank you, Christine. Good, loving memories really are the elixir for mourning. Alt Summit 2014, indeed! Maybe I can convince you to go too.

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  23. Aw, thank you, Raluca. For someone who writes the best heartfelt and beautifully worded posts, it means a lot to me. Yes, cheers to many highs...This scale needs to balance out at some point. :)

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  24. Noreen, you're so right - there will be more Alt Summits and life takes precedence. Thank you! 

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  25. The 'lows' really do have a way of making you take notice of what's most important. They make you take stock and count your blessings. Well, if you (and a few other Brits) were able to make the trek to Alt, then missing it this year will have proven worth the wait, for certain. As always, thank you for your kind and inspiring words, Chi!

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  26. Thank you, L. Thinking of you too and hoping V. gets some good news soon. x

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  27. As the saying goes, "All good things to those who wait." Well, I'm hoping it applies in this case. :) Thank you, Rooth.

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  28. The holidays were definitely bittersweet this year. We have a fairly large family and I think we all took comfort in the fact that we had each other and could spend some quality time together. There really is nothing like family. Thank you for your words and thoughts, Santa. (I'm hoping my extended family will read these comments and feel everyone's light.)

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  29. That's one of my favorite sayings and mantras. Thank you, Lauren.

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  30. oh my love.... i am so sorry for your loss. i hope your heart may begin to heal and you can enjoy all the wonderful memories of your jichan. personal disappointment is a hard one. but you are talented, inspiring and loved... you just need time to heal, take all the time you need. we will all still be here waiting for you xx

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